A Commentary On Janet's Book "You Better Not Cry"
A Commentary...You Better Not Cry...Really! Why Not?
For those of you who've read my book "You Better Not Cry", you already know why I chose that title. If you related to it, this "crying" article is for you. For those of you who are about to read my book and identify with it, this crying article is for me. Hmmmmm. Look at that. You and you and I, the three of us, are attached at the hip, and we haven't even met yet.
Let's do it. "Hi, I'm Janet Barre'. When and if you so desire, I'd like you to introduce yourself to me.
Guess what I just figured out? I'm not powerless. It took me over 70 years to discover that I have the right to cry...anytime I please. From the first moment I was told "You better not cry", I've believed that I was powerless over crying. That's much, much, much too long to be imprisoned.
I've been liberated!
Has anyone ever said to you "You'd better not cry?" Have you ever said it to yourself? If you've never asked that question, start practicing. If you don't, you can find yourself in an emotionless prison where your outfit, year after year, never changes.
This little outfit comes with a special designer label embroidered on the pocket over your heart. It also has a little matching hat with the same designer label covering your brain. On the label there's a word spelled out in big block letters that really makes a statement: P O W E R L E S S!!!!!
Now for someone like myself who loves clothes, I was stunned to realize that I never objected to wearing the same outfit day after day. What's worse is that I never knew that at any time I could have exchanged it, or thrown it away and fashioned something much more attractive and comfortable for myself. Even being naked would have been an improvement. At least it would have been all me - no place for a label.
I remember when I was young, biting my lip so that I wouldn't give in to tears. I remember being told, "Go ahead! Cry! Then I'll really give you something to cry about!!"
Hello! Excuse me! Pardon me? You'll REALLY give me something to cry about? YOU'LL decide what should make me cry? The pain and sadness in my heart that's making water fall out of my eyes involuntarily isn't a legitimate reason for me to cry? You will deny my hurt? You'll find something that YOU think should make me distressed? YOU'LL choose what should make me cry?
WRONG! WRONG! WRONG! I don't think so. This is my MY cry!!!!!
Oh, if I could have spoken these words of this newly discovered wisdom to myself when I was 4 - 14 - 24 - 34 - 44 - 54 - 64. The biggest lie I ever believed was that I was powerless to choose the appropriate time for tears. Instead I learned to tolerate and adjust to the crying Do's and Don'ts that others would choose for me. I believe that I deserve an A+ in the "tolerating pain" course. However, I'm sure that I won't be named valedictorian of this class. I have a lot of competition. Yet, the adage "It's never too late" is still sage, wise, saner, sapient, sagacious, savant, and just simply true!!!!! (Took you on a little word trip there, didn't I? I love words. How about you?)
Let's think about it for a minute! If I never turned on the faucet in my kitchen sink or in my bathtub or in my bathroom sink or on the outside of my house where the hose is connected, how many things never would have been accomplished? Your tear ducts are yours. Only you have the right to decide if you want to turn them on or off. Only you have the right to decide how to use them. Express joy? Pain? Sadness? Release pressure? YOU decide how you'll use them. They're YOURS!!!!! YOU have the POWER.
What is your frustration? Freedom issues? Identity problems? Physical and/or emotional abuse? Loneliness (real or perceived)? Unstable home life? Fears (real of imagined)? Health problems? Feelings of unworthiness or not measuring up? Not feeling loved or lovable? Anger? Outrage? Inadequacies? I've seen all these places and more.
Talk about it if you want. Search for a listening ear, if that helps. Refuse to become an unwitting victim. Bawl your eyes out.
DON'T EAT YOUR TEARS! CRY! CRY OUT! It's okay to let someone hear you. If that's what it takes so that you can be helped to develop the power that you need to save yourself.
Perhaps there's a "book" developing in you right now that will eventually surface and incite others to tears. As Martha Stewart always says, "That's a good thing!" If you want to call, I'll listen, and I'll hear you.
Your friend and fellow crier,
Janet Barre'
Publisher's Note: Janet owns and operates the World Of Nutrition in Market Square, Newington, CT 06111. Phone: 860-666-6863 or Toll Free: 866-666-6863. Perhaps you'd like to aske a question or share a personal experience with her. You can always reach her a the World Of Nutrition.
posted by Janet & Tabitha @ 12:07 PM
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